Oh Hail!

I am working from home today. I've been sick since Friday night. I was working and ate a piece of Pizza that they had brought in, and by a few hours later I was sick as hell and just wanted to curl up and die. I thought it was the Pizza, but here I sit, 2 days later, still sick.

Yesterday was terrible. We went to Mom and Dad's...basically so Brandon would have help with the girls. I slept the whole time.

I'm feeling a little better this morning. I just did for the first time since Friday night (I don't count the handful of oyster crackers I ate yesterday). Cinnamon toast. It was good.

It hailed here at like 7:30 this morning. See picture.

Back to work.

And if you could...

Please pray for this woman, and her husband...who lost their twins at 23 weeks gestation due to placental abruption:

http://bustedbabymaker.blogspot.com/

The pain, grief, and loss this family is experiencing right now is at a level that I cannot even comprehend.

You want me to wear what?!

See that "thing" around my neck...the plasticy-PVC looking thing. It almost looks like tubing from the ventilation system of a fish tank. Yes. That is a "necklace". It flashes, but it's impossible to see that in the picture. I guess it came from Disney World, of all places.

Why, you ask, would I have to wear such a childish, silly necklace (especially at work)?

It's "go-live" weekend, folks! Which means everyone acts especially retarded! When implementing an upgrade, lots of people are involved and coordinate what we wear, do, say, think, breathe...case in point:

In addition to the fabulous necklaces, we also have NAVY blue polo shirts with the hospital logo on them to wear around during the weekend and following week. With khakis. And tennis shoes (since we'll be walking all over the hospital).

Tech people CAN have fashion sense, you know....

Oh, and FYI...I took the necklace off about .5 milliseconds after I snapped the photo. I think I'll "accidentally" toss it out the window on the way home.

My husband wants to kill me...

Okay, not really. He doesn't want to kill me...let me explain.

It would seem that my husband, the love of my life, is just as susceptible to informercials as I am. But, instead of Pancake Puff Pans and magic cleaning solutions, he spies a "complete workout solution".

Siiiiiiiiiiigh.

My husband doesn't need to lose weight. He's PERFECT. But he feels that he needs to get "ripped" again. Mmmmm...Oh, anyway, I digress. He wants the body back that he used to have, when he was in sports and the like. Hell, honey...I'd like my high school body back, too. We BOTH remember when I was a lifeguard and had a six-pack that you could break eggs on. DEPRESSING. Let's not go there.

So listen to this. P90X means Power 90x. 90 equals the number of days this system runs. I suppose you could stretch it out (God, let's hope). You're are SUPPOSED to work out for one hour a day, 7 days a week. Hold on...that's like, one hour less than a full work day. Jesus.

There are 12 different workouts (each with their own DVD) which includes: Chest and Back, Plyometrics, Shoulders and Arms, Yoga X, Legs an Back, Kenpo X, X Stretch, Core Synergistics, Chest, Shoulders and Triceps, Back and Biceps, Cardio X, and Ab Ribber X.

Ab Ripper? [explicative deleted]

Why all the X's? Who are they trying to scare? (If it's me, it's working...)

You also get a calendar (so you can track your torture...I mean...progress) and some kind of nutritional guide.

So once I get past the, "Oh my God I will absolutely keel over and die" sentiments flowing through my mind, I start to think, "Hey...it wouldn't be a bad thing really!" I need exercise. If Brandon can be my partner and motivation, that would be fantastic.

Plus, (and hopefully this isn't my only motivation) I know Brandon would do awesome at it, and be totally rockin' after the 90 days. I, obviously, need to be in good shape and be packing some serious muscle to beat bitches down when they look at him.

:) Wish me luck! I'll need it!

"It's gonna be a good day..."

And this is why...

1) As I'm unloading the girls at school (I got rockstar parking, by the way, which rarely happens! Right under the awning, so I didn't have to stress about chasing them all over the place, corralling them into the door...) one of the parents walking out said, "You do so well with two kids. You're amazing. And they are lucky little girls to have such an awesome Mommy." Awwww! Then Ava screams, "AWESOME!" They didn't dilly-dally too bad down the hallway to their classroom and I got big hugs and sloppy kisses without any fussing that I was leaving. Ahhhhh...

2) I'm sitting at my desk, drinking my diet Pepsi and had just finished my breakfast of string cheese. Weighed myself this morning, no change. That's not bad considering I haven't been eating the best anyway. A co-worker stops at my office door to tell me that I'm looking "skinny" and "very healthy". She said she really noticed how thin my face looked yesterday, and just how much better I look. At this point, my ego is doing quite well this morning.

3) We found our "dream house". It's out of our price range, currently. But, we hope we can offer them less, and that Brandon will get this new job and we'll definitely be able to swing it. If I hear back from the bank today, I'd love to set up a showing this weekend.

Yeah, that's pretty much it. But...I'd say that's a good start to a Wednesday.

FREEZE FRAME!

Randomness for March 25th

1) A post on the Nest (Omaha board) was asking for suggestions of what to fill a diaper bag with, for a shower gift. I'm sitting here trying to recall all the stuff we have shoved in the diaper bag. I'm pretty sure that I over-pack 99.9% of the time. Q-tips. I kept Q-tips in the diaper bag when the girls were younger. They seem to be prone to boogery noses. And I have this phobia about boogers in noses in public. My poor kids...before I even unstrap them from their car seats, I'm picking at their noses to make sure their "caves" are "bat free". In fact, I just Googled "fear of boogers"...because I wonder if I don't have some sort of illness. I know I have aracnophobia (fear of spiders)...but maybe there's a boggerophobia I don't know about.

2) Brandon's second interview is in an hour. I'm about ready to puke, I'm so nervous. Good ol' Mickey D's for breakfast was a bad choice, given my current emotional state.

3) Lily pitched the biggest fit ever yesterday at daycare when I got there to pick them up. She would not let me put her coat on. I have never been that frustrated in my life. And embarrassed. But I still insisted we go out for dinner to TGIFriday's. Boy am I stupid.

4) IBS Lady is on vacation all this week. I sure haven't missed the joyous sounds of her blowing ass 4 times a day.

5) We're submitting our passport applications today. For whatever reason, I'm very nervous about it.

I think that's about all for now. We are hoping to schedule some house viewings this weekend. We're ready to get that show on the road!

Easter Update 2008

1) The girls were heathens in church. Absolute heathens. Screaming, crying, being just about as obnoxious as they could possibly be. They even started screaming, "BITE! BITE! BITE!" in the middle of Silent Prayer time. Nice timing girls. I didn't bring enough Care Bear Gummies.

then...

2) Lunch was kind of a cluster. We went to a buffet style restaurant, and the girls just would not cooperate. We ate as fast as we could and loaded them up to head to the next Easter event. This guaranteed at least a 40 minute "nap" (if you could even call it that) on the car ride there. Praise Jesus. Looks like my Silent Prayer was answered.

and...

3) Easter with Brandon's family...So much fun. So relaxing. So not like having to confine your 21 month old twins to a pew or chair in a restaurant. Grandma Sherri had a special Easter Egg hunt just for the kids. Then the egg hunt for the BIG kids (read: everyone else). Sherri stuffed 155 eggs, and hid them all around the farm. One hundred fifty-five eggs. All of them had candy, some had little slips of paper, and some had quarters. The slips of paper coordinated with neat little prizes...like chamois towels, kitchen whisks, basting brushes, flashlights and a ton of other "grab bag" type things.

And now...the moment you've all been waiting for! Pictures!

Looking pretty in our dresses...

Every girl needs Farm Boots!

Egggggs!

Great news!

Brandon got a second interview! It's tomorrow morning and we couldn't be more excited. Keep thinking good thoughts!

I'll do an Easter update post sometime! I've got oodles of pictures that I need to get off my camera first!

Truly. Blessed.

Sometimes, when you get so busy with the hubbub of your daily life, we often forget to think about just how truly blessed we are.

I am truly blessed. See picture above for reference. Kristi - you're the best friend I could ever ask for and you know me better than most. I opened the box, then the other box, then ripped through the tissue paper and saw the silver box with red ribbon and then, "GASP!".

"Borsheims? What in the world did she do?!" I thought.

Once I opened the box, and I was verklempt. Speechless. Stunned. I'm not sure there is a more perfect gift in the whole wide world for me.

It's hard to see in the picture, but there are two sterling silver pendants on the necklace. One reads "Truly". The other, "Blessed".

And I am. Very much so.

So, thank you Kristi. I love you soooo much!

I'll see your Nutella, and raise you a cheesecake!

This is for YOU Sarah!

I have the coolest friends!

1) Jen sends me a message, with her singing me Happy Birthday. It was freaking awesome. Jen, you're a great singer. American Idol is calling your name. I'd totally vote for you. And LOL @ you stopping at a green light. You're a dork, but that's why I love ya!

2) Veronica. Veronica, Veronica, Veronica! You spoil me. I have picture evidence:

Do you see that?! Freaking Eli's Cheesecake, on a Popsicle stick, then dipped in yummy chocolate. They are frozen, and probably the best thing I've ever eaten. For sure. I sent an Eli's Cheesecake care package to Veronica and her wonderful husband Ray while he was going through treatments for his cancer. He's a sweet food lover, and I thought what better time than during such grueling medical procedures that often rob you of your appetite to indulge on some of the finest cheesecake in the world! She raved and raved about the Dippers. And now, I know first hand just why she did that.

3) Kristi. I didn't get to FedEx to pick up my package today. But I'm doing it tomorrow. And I know you'll get your own post dedicated to how full of awesomeness you are.

Everyone...send good thoughts to Brandon. His interview is tomorrow. I know he'll do wonderful. Pray pray pray! They'll love him, I just know it!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Thanks to Anna and Jen for the birthday drawings! You're guys are the best!

I'm frustrated with my job today...

So I'm going to blog. That always seems to make me feel better.

When I came into this job, I replaced a woman who worked here less than 6 months. She basically came in, half-ass learned the ropes, then cut and run when she couldn't handle it. I admit, it's high stress sometimes, and demands hella hours. I spend many a-night working from home, or even signing in on weekends.

So, the woman that SHE replaced had to re-train me (after training the woman who quit). A lot of things seemed to get "misplaced", forgotten about, or the like. I mean, it wouldn't be hard. You hand off all your tasks to one person, who then turns around and quits...only to have to re-tell ANOTHER person what you told the previous one about 180 days ago!

Today, I get an email from the director of the department (Read: Big Wig!) and it appears that a project was one of the casualties of this employee-swapping-song-and-dance. It had kicked off when the person I replaced was preparing to leave. Between the time she departed, and the time that I came in, nothing happened with it. I'd been here a few weeks, and helped send off a file that this analysis company needed, but like I knew what it was for (and was never told what it was for)...

Fast-forward to today, and the director wants details of what the hell is going on with this engagement. Oh lord. And you know what, selling anyone up the river was my last concern. I couldn't help but think how bad this could make ME look. I believe I'm in the "clear"...or at least lets hope so. But that doesn't get me out of adding another project to my workload. Ay yi yi!

In other news, Ava Grace is now a big girl. She pooped on the big girl potty last night, and then peed in it this morning. I was jumping around like an idiot. Who would have thought that human excrement could ever be THIS exciting. Or, that I could feel such a sense of pride from the fact that my daughter shit in a bowl. But, alas, I do feel proud. And I will continue to dance around like an idiot and wave "bye bye" to the poop and pee as it goes blissfully down the toilet, and I no longer have to deal with diapers.

Wait...I'm getting ahead of myself. Obviously, we aren't done with diapers. But one step closer is alright in my book.

Lily Rae...oh my dearest Lily. She showed interest in the potty chair first. "Mommy, I poot" she'd proclaim, when in fact, she had pooped in her diaper! She loved to sit on the potty chair, clothed; dismantle the chair and carry around the bowl; and use it as a stepping stool. But the child has the patience of her father (ha ha ha, Honey! Love you!) and once she saw the celebration after her big sister did "the business" in the potty, I could almost read her mind. Immediately, she wanted to sit, naked as a jaybird...just like sissy, on the potty chair. But she could NOT keep her butt on the seat for longer than a few seconds without hopping up in a fury, turning in a flash, and peering into the bowl to see what goodies she'd have! The look on her face was priceless, with each check...disappointment. Confusion. Concern. Disgust. "WHY DON'T I HAVE ANYTHING IN MY BOWL?!" She'd sit down in a huffy, pissed off manner for another 3-5 seconds and the same thing would happen. Up quickly, turning so fast she'd almost fall down, and NOTHING.

Eventually, she gave up. I imagine the thoughts running through her mind are like this...

"Well, I guess my potty chair is broken. I'll just steal Sissy's next time".

I hate Mondays...

I really do. There is nothing great about a Monday, unless it's the start of a vacation week. And this, unfortunately, is NOT a vacation week for me.

Random numero uno: While playing 4-point pitch this weekend, I decided that it's probably the most IRRITATING thing in the world to play cards with someone who doesn't know what the f*ck they are doing. Having to pause each time around the table so we could explain/coach/help out someone really defeats the purpose of the game. Very, VERY irritating.

Random numero dos: I totally forgot it was St. Patrick's Day. I did, however, luckily include some green in my wardrobe by accident. And the girls insisted on wearing their new Camo Crocs...well, they aren't "Crocs"...they are Skechers whatever-knock-off-brand. But they are damn cute:So what if they are technically a boy's shoe. Do I LOOK like I care?! I was a tomboy, I'm certainly okay with my daughters following suit.

Random numero tres: My brother got me a $20 lottery ticket for my birthday. I won $40 on it! Woot woot! Then, like a dumbass, I used that $40 to buy 2 more tickets (greedy, greedy!) and lost it all. I'm a sucky gambler.

Random numero quatro: I got my hairs cut on Friday. Like the first haircut in a long, long, long time. I'm still kind of "eh" about it. I took a picture (by the way, I share a "window" with a woman...she must think I'm the biggest retard ever...because I took 3 billion photos of my hair). It's in a low-ponytail. Nice, huh? Let's hope that I can learn to do something with it other than this. Comments welcome, but only of the positive persuasion.

Friday Randomness

1. I'm not Catholic, and I don't care for fish. But, I think everyone else in this hospital IS Catholic, and so lunch selection on Friday's has really sucked lately, thanks be to Lent.

2. Just because I'm not Catholic, doesn't mean I don't love Catholics. Just wanted to clear that up. I love Catholics. I just don't like fish.

3. Kristi still hasn't updated her blog. She's a freaking slacker.

4. House hunting is kind of at a standstill. We need to get our pre-approval paperwork submitted. I'm in no big rush because the inventory of "buyable" homes in the area we are searching is L-O-W.

5. There is a city-wide garage sale in our town in April. It's on the day I might be leaving for a users conference for work in Kansas City. I'm bummed. I want to offload our massive stacks of shit on someone. And get money in return. Consignment is too much work.

6. It's a frickin' race for new vehicles in my department. One girl got a new SUV, and within 24 hours of telling co-workers, two other co-workers are now trading in their cars. I'm glad I don't give a shit. They started comparing payments and all I could do was roll my eyes. Now, they are discussing the benefits of cloth vs leather interiors. They both prefer cloth. Less skin to leather sweat and stick factor.

7. While sitting on the loo, I though..."Wouldn't it be fun to have an advice blog?" People could leave questions in the form of comments anonymously, and I could answer them the next day. I think it would be a blast! The fact that I was sitting on the toilet is really irrelevant to this story. But it's certainly more random if I include it.

That is all, for now!

My offspring are smart!

I mean, you knew that already, but anyway! Yesterday we had Parent Teacher conferences at daycare and then the Parents As Teachers person came over in the evening for a visit. The girls are hitting (or surpassing) all marks developmentally and they say well over the number of words a 20 month old should be able to say.

I'm very relieved that they did not say any bad words while the PAT lady was there. I mean, daycare has been witness already to the potty mouths my children have. I want the woman who reports back to the school district my children will probably enroll in to have a better impression of them!

Let's see...they can stack blocks (6 and 7 high!), identify body parts (even their elbows...random, much?), play well with others and have very caring demeanor (if another kid cries at school, they are sometimes the first ones to rush over and offer comfort), they can walk, run, and climb without falling (most of the time!), and lastly...they are artistic little farts and I think I'll sell their paintings on eBay!

In other news...House. Well, even though we liked that house, our reasonable side tells us it might be a smidge too small. So, we're going to more forward with our pre-approval for financing and see what other properties there are. Why can't we just stumble upon a 3 or 4 bedroom, 2 bath home built in the 40's-80's that is in nice condition but just needs updating? I mean, come on! It's can't be THAT HARD! :)

Oh, and I think Kristi is a sucky blogger who never updates her site. Amy's not far behind her. Thank Gawd I've got Sarah.

I apologize...

For not updating yesterday. It was a crazy-busy day at work! I got a ton done, and then started surfing some realtor websites. I came across this super cute house, small, but very affordable. Of course, we rent right now and the rental was being shown by the owners to a possibly interested purchasing party. I reaaaaaaaally don't want to move to another rental house, because that would mean moving again after that! It's just not ideal, but if need be...we'd do it.

We went and looked at it last night and it's in great shape, and while it's small (2 bedrooms and 1 bath) it has a ton of potential and it's just downright cozy.

Oh, and Brandon got a call-back from the hospital and he's got an interview next Friday. Eeeee!

Yesterday was a busy, busy day for us!

"Bankie? Bankie?! BANKIE!!"

Most know how attached the girls are to their blankets (known as "Silkies", "Blankies", "Lovies"). they are essential for naptime, bedtime, or anytime they feel tired/sad/sick/upset/cuddly.

Yesterday, as we were getting ready to leave from the family gathering...Ava went into a panic, saying "Bankie? Bankie?"

She's searching high and low (well, as high as she can search I suppose) and she just can't find it. I knew where it was. I'd placed it on a stack of stuff to take with us.

Her panic grew, and eventually she started saying louder, "Bankie?! Bankie?!"

Once the now louder shouts grew to full on screams, I handed her the blanket, and she giggled.

She did it again this morning, but with less panic in her voice. She knew where it was, but just wanted to let US know that she was looking for it.

It's so damn cute.

Snickers, apples, and cool whip?

We had a family get-together today to celebrate all the birthdays in March. One of the dishes I was very skeptical of. As the title of this post says, it contains Snickers, apples, and cool whip. I assure you, it was quite wonderful.

Here ya go:

Snicker Apple Salad

16 oz container of Cool Whip
1 box French Vanilla Instant Pudding
4 large Granny Smith apples, peeled and diced
1 large Granny Smith apple, just diced (leave peel on)
6 Snickers Candy Bars, diced

Mix Cool Whip and Instant Pudding. Add in diced apples. Keep in the fridge until ready to serve. Add candy bars right before serving.

Finally Friday...

So we had dinner with my brother Jake, his wife Tiffany, and their son Preston yesterday. I'd been home all day because daycare called at 9:30 am to let me know Lily was running a fever. So I said screw it, picked up both girls, and headed home. Jake was adamant that we come over for dinner, despite the possibility that Lily was sick.

Dinner was wonderful. Grilled steaks and potatoes, green beans...yum! While we were eating, it came to our attention that Jake had sustained an injury while preparing our food! Some juices from the steaks dripped and caused a flare-up, singeing his hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes!

I wish I'd had my camera available...because that picture would have certainly been blogworthy!

Happy Friday everyone! Here's hoping that I'm out of here at a decent time. Me thinks that might not happen. Our servers have already crashed once. An unstable network is never a computer programmer's friend.

Ah yes!!

Doesn't get any more perfect than THAT!

Do I LOOK like a numbers person?

I mean, really? Do I?

I'll set up your Crystal Reports, and make sure they connect to the database a-okay...but as far as comparing payments posted in a freaking general ledger report to what is posted on the report you request...

REALLY?!

This is what I'm perplexed with this morning. And when I encounter something that I wholeheartedly SUCK at, I tend to push it aside. I'm a computer programmer, or systems analyst, or any other geeky, techy name you want to call me. But I am not an accountant...or good with numbers.

Also, a co-worker has been out sick all week. Well, since last Friday actually. She's back today and she said she still doesn't feel good. To top that off...she's being a royal beeeeeyotch. I asked if she was feeling better and she snapped at me. Niceness from Jeana ends right...about...THERE. In fact, I just heard her say..."I.Hate.My.Job"! Attitude is everything, lady!

In other news...my birthday is coming up. The big 2-5! Here is my birthday list!


A docking radio for my XM receiver. Right now, my XM radio stays in my car....and it doesn't do me much good in there. I would love to listen to Dr. Laura bitch and moan at the weirdos that call her show during the day. Somehow, I think that would make me feel better about myself.




The Clarisonic face care system. I've heard it makes your skin just to-die-for. I'm pretty terrible about taking care of my skin. I have hopes that if I had something like this...I would do better. I'll hate myself in 50 years when I'm a wrinkly old prune.






And finally, a Tom Tom GPS device. Don't really NEED this...but I think it might just save my husband's life on the way to Canada this summer.

Today's randomness will include...

1. I hate when I try new recipes and they flop. The one last night was totally sucky. Like, Ava made this, "Oh my gawd Mom! Why are you even feeding this to us?" face. And, it smelled wonderful and looked tasty. Balls.

2. I have to pee, but because I'm posting this blog and hesitated, IBS lady beat me to the potty. So, if you're reading this...I hope you're happy. It's all your fault. Yes, you...YOUR FAULT.

3. I want to know who replaced all the regular spoons with soup spoons in our breakroom. Can they possibly comprehend how hard it is to eat my Jell-O with an effing soup spoon? Well, let me tell you...it's not easy.

4. Tonight is "breakfast for dinner" night and I'm irrationally excited about it. It's quick. It's easy. The girls love it. And who doesn't love waffles and bacon?

5. I've lost 20 lbs. TWENTY POUNDS! I'm so geeked about this. I do realize, however...that I've got a long way to go. But I think that's a pretty rockin' milestone. Then I think, "Hey, dumbass...if you would have found time to exercise, who knows how much more you could have lost..." Dangit.

6. Danny Noreaga needs to go. NEEDS.TO.GO!

Those Kleenex commercials...

You know the ones, the "Kleenex Let It All Out" commercials.

I get teary eyed just watching the commercials. That sweet guy in his sweater, listening to these people open their hearts and spill the beans about whatever they've been holding in. Heck, they even show the sweet sweater guy wiping his eyes.

Anyway, I know that if I did one of those commercials...I'd be a blubbering, snotty damn mess. I hold everything in. At least until it comes exploding out when Brandon looks at me the wrong way. I suppose I need to find a better way of dealing with the stressors and hard spots in my life. I'm pretty sure that this new job has brought me to the maximum point of stress that I have ever been at in my life. It is just so demanding and never ending.

A huge bonus of my job, though...the daycare center. Man is that place wonderful. It is almost worth all the crap I go through, just to know that my daughters are getting a wonderful education early in their lives.

The bad part - I think it's having a negative effect on my health. I'm so tired, that whole fainting incident...and I don't have a follow up until April for that. I know stress can do weird things to your body, but a few weeks ago I got a phone call at work that sent my stress and anxiety level through the roof. Within minutes, I felt like I was either going to puke or pass out...right there in my office. I've GOT to find a way to deal with all of this, because changing jobs is really not an option.

Anyway, what a long and boring entry that was! Exercise is my first plan of action for de-stressing. Plus, we've got this Canadian vacation planned for the summer. If I keep my eyes on the prize, I'm thinking I'll make it through. Really, the stress level SHOULD drop...but it just doesn't seem to be happening yet. I accept prayers from any and all parties, too. Those always help!

American Idol tonight! Woot woot! David Hernandez was a stripper! Wow! It's true!
http://www.votefortheworst.com

Another new recipe tonight, as well. Last night's was actually a success! Rock on!

Tuesdays with Jeana....

Working from home today...Lily was running a fever yesterday, so I didn't feel right sending her to daycare. Ava was sad about it. Brandon took her to school and all the way there, she pointed at Lily's carseat and would question, "LILY?! WHERE GO?!" Break my effing heart, will ya?

Nothing really random right now. I'm sure as I enjoy the wonders of crappy daytime TV, I'll have something to write about.

Late night peeing...

This blog, from Amy, reminded me of a truly funny story. Read her blog, then return to my story:

http://attentionwhore-amy.blogspot.com/2008/03/ing-toilet-paper.html

When we were first newly married, one night I stumbled to the bathroom for a midnight pee session. I, like Amy, see no need for lights and an overly awake state. I know what I'm doing. I know where I'm going. I won't miss the seat or get sprinkles of piss anywhere because I'm a woman. I sit to do my business.

So, as I'm doing my thang, Brandon must have gotten the potty urge as well. I did not hear him get up or start to come into the bathroom. Truth be told, I was probably half asleep on the pisser.

He walks into the bathroom, steps on my foot...this scares the ever-living out of him, and he throws up his hands in defense. I just so happen to catch one of those hands right upside my face (near my eye to be exact). I start crying.

"WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?!" he screams at me.

"Going to the bathroom!! WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?! Why did you hit me?!" I scream back.

"Going to the bathroom! WHY DON'T YOU HAVE LIGHTS ON?!" he returns.

"I DON'T NEED LIGHTS, DUMBASS!" I snap.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth until I burst into laughter. He still, to this day, doesn't find it funny.

Hey, I'm the one that got punched, you know...not you. I feel this was payback for the time I closed the bathroom door in a sleepy stupor, only to have him run into it in the middle of the night. THWACK! Oh, and it was an old house, so the door was raised up a bit...just high enough to allow his toes to go under and get scraped all to hell.

Yeah, I might have deserved the sockin' to the face.

Someone's got a case of the MONDAYS!

Random #1 - Lily puked last night. Brandon and I were getting ready to go to bed and I hear a weird coughing sound on the monitor. "Did she just throw up?" I ask Brandon. "I don't know. I'll go check, " he says. Sure enough...spewed all over the place. The random thought in all this...Jell-O does some funny things in the human stomach. It had lost all it's color on the outside, but when you would squish it (Because I did, in fact, squish it...I wanted to see what it was, because it sure didn't look like Jell-O and I figured that Lily had eaten something she found somewhere in our house)...it was still light pinkish inside. So gross.

Random #2 - I really, really want a Hershey bar. Like really.

Random #3 - I'm trying a new recipe tonight and I fear it will be a huge flop. It's a cheesy potato and ham casserole thing. Sounds like it should be okay. But who knows really.

Random #4 - I'm supposed to have a meeting with a co-worker. It's been re-re-rescheduled. I just checked messenger and it looks like she's working from home. I wish I knew for sure, because daycare called and said Lily isn't feeling the best, but it's almost naptime so they were just going to let her rest. I want to run to her and scoop her up and cuddle her. So, if I find out that this meeting is canceled, that's what I'm doing.

Random #5 - My random things haven't been as funny. I apologize for that.

Random #6 - Lily cussed again yesterday. She dropped her juice. Her response was, "Shit. Shit. Shit."

I think that's all I have for now.

What a b-e-a-utiful day!

Honestly, can it get any better than today? I think we had a high of at least 75 degrees. The wind wasn't great, but hey...can't have it all I guess. We started with our grocery run to Wally World. That's always an adventure. Lunch was lasagna and I "baked" a cake in the slower cooker (blech...not reccomended). And then, we didn't do much else. This afternoon, we did go outside to enjoy the nice weather. The girls got out their cars and had some demolition derby fun in the driveway. By their bedtime, they were soooo tired. They told US they were ready to hit the sack by heading towards the stairs. Anyway, here are some pictures!

Infomercials!

• Pancake Puff Pan.
• That sweet-ass Green and White epoxy that could probably hold the bumper on your car.
• Oxi-Clean!
• GreenBags...to keep your fruit freakishly fresh for a long, long time.

Just a random sampling of the infomercials I ran across as I scrolled through the nothingness that is Saturday night television.

FYI...I would like one of each of the aforementioned products (especially the Pancake Puff Pan!)

We make beautiful kids...

Well, you know...I'm not biased or a braggart...but they are really effing cute! Proof is in the pudding, as they say:




It was only mildly traumatic...and when I say "traumatic", I mean for Brandon and I. Sheesh. They sure do look angelic, but I can speak with 100% honesty and say that the devil horns came out after we finished.

But really, they did great, look adorable...and we're just sooooo lucky to be blessed with such great kids!

YEEEEELLLLL-O?!

Every time we open the fridge...the girls start manically screaming "YELLLL-O! YELLLL-O!" which is their cuteass way of saying Jell-O. Ever since they had the tube/adenoid surgery and got Jell-O, it's their "thing". I keep Jell-O (sugar-free) around for me for my South Beach torture, so the little mooches are eating all my damn Jell-O.

This morning, the girls had scrambled eggs, toast, and Jell-O for breakfast. Rotten, I tell you.

We're getting ready to do the picture thing. Wish me luck. I'll need it.